Unravelling the Enamoured Enigma

Moving on...

2007-07-06T15:30:00.000+05:30

Change in everything is inevitable and here I am, moving on to a new place with all my pennings.

I continue to Unravel the Enamoured Enigma at www.meinsentience.wordpress.com starting from 07-07-07.

Parthipura - Part 2

2007-07-03T15:59:00.000+05:30

I start the second part of the story with due apologies to my readers. The absolute joblessness that I enjoyed in Perth totally vanished from the moment I decided to board the flight back to Hyd, via Singapore. Parthipura – Part 1, did seem a tad depressing, I would fancy it is merely the state of mind that was reflected. By the end of first week, I had devised plans to keep myself terribly busy over the three day long weekend. Well, it was the chance of a life-time to go around an Australian city, being absolutely anonymous, no one to call home and report to and more over do exactly what I would like to. Well, this does include starving myself for a simple vegetarian meal. Yes, continuous effect of wraps/rolls/burgers does take a toll on ones psychic and the yearning simply multiplies by N (where N tends to infinity).

Coming back to the plans of the weekend, I will limit myself to the Perth and its surrounding in this part, which essentially covers my Saturday’s itinerary.

After having woken up at a comfortable hour on the Saturday morning, I decided to furnish myself with the stocks from the Indian store. I did this en-route via a trip to the Western Australian Cricket Association or the famously known cricket ground – WACA. The timings for the ground trips and museum tours are so weird that no individual who is working 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM during weekdays can hope to visit. Added to that it is closed on public holidays and on days when there are matches. I wonder why is it even open to public (tourist perspective)!!! Anyways, I contented myself with the trip to the Race-course (just opposite WACA) and a peek of the stadium from the outside.

My exploit at the Indian store, included that of the life-saving Maggi noodles and some other stuff, which I hardly used. My next stop was the Swan bells. This is a tower constructed on the banks of the picturesque Swan River. As per the description kept outside - Swan bells is one of the world’s largest music instruments and includes the twelve bells of St. Martin-in-the-fields which have been ringing since well before the 15^th century. I was lucky enough to witness the last time the bells rang for that day. No, I wasn’t really late; it was merely past one ‘o’ clock in the afternoon and just like everything there, the bells also close down early. The idea of going to Swan bells was driven by the ulterior motive of having a good Indian meal at Annalakshmi, the Indian restaurant that runs on charity where the guest is expected to pay as much he/she thinks fit for the food. They did start this restaurant in India and not very surprisingly the concept hasn’t been as much of a success as in abroad. Coming back to me, as luck should have it, the place is closed on Saturday afternoons and Mondays. So, once again I ended up having some firangi junk for lunch. But did go back to have a happy dinner there in the evening. Come on, I was starved for a proper vegetarian, Indian meal, couldn’t have left the chance for a million ;).

The best part of being alone is that you can sit anywhere for any long and then do whatever the self pleases at that point of time, without any botheration. The stroll from the Swan Bells to my hotel is a nice one, along the Swan River. Perth is a quiet place and families go around cycling along the river. There are cycles equipped to take children around. One also sees a lot of families enjoying a nice picnic lunch or playing in the parks. Yes, all this can be attributed to the low population levels and a lot more, but all said and done it does feel good.

Lazed around for the rest of day and had a great meal at Annalakshmi to wind up early. Well one thing I really enjoyed there was extended sleeping hours. Reason being pretty simple, my office was 15 minutes by walk and a small bus ride. I loved that!

@ Work

2007-06-06T12:48:00.000+05:30

Sitting at work, an observation hit me hard once again. All said and done, men of any nationality do seem to be very nice to women, to start with at least; its civility and chivalry at its best.

There is a definite advantage being a woman and making use of it does make some sense to the pragmatic mind. Now the purists might say that this isn’t ethical, but then, will this be coming under the banner of ethics and all, if a lady has not in specific asked for it and then got it as a result of her sex? The answer is clearly, No. Firstly, the woman never even thought of something like that and secondly she didn’t want the help. Well at some point of time it does help one’s cause to make life livable, I personally think it should be used, but like all things life, caution and discretion is a must.

So being a women at work and making the most of it because of the simple reason that you are a woman and not have to do anything to get that is a flattering proposition. I for one, never seemed to have understood why and have asked many of my close men friends. They have this wonderful smile on their face (surely thinking about that last incident which they are relishing it again now) and just say, “Understand madam.” Hmm… I guess my readers did understand and can probably throw some light on this. One of the burning topics that I have been unable to unravel and my guess is, no one really has been either. Comments and observations as always are welcome.

Parthipura - Part 1

2007-05-31T07:21:00.000+05:30

I have been getting numerous mails asking me as to how am I doing “Down Under”. “What have you seen so far?”, “Post all the pictures.” Hmmm.. I wouldn’t want to start the blog on a sad note, but then the most FREAKING thing about this place, or so I have heard about most places in OZ is, shops close down by 5 or max 6 in the evening. Praise the lord there are some shops that are kept open till 7 or 8 in the evening. Apparently, Thursdays and Fridays are the designated shopping days for the folks here. Logon, aasha ki kiran ab bhi kahin jeevit hai!!!

I am dying to talk to someone and talk more than just a “how you doing?”- I am supposedly doing good. I have all the time in the world to do absolutely anything. Unfortunately everything closes by 6 and it is dark by 5:30. A woman going around alone is not safe. So, will the kind souls tell me what other options do I have? Well, apart from updating my blog (every other day), I think I can hear folks back home yelling and sayinh, cook, cook. Yes, I agree. Even without them yelling. The last few days have been spent eating “ghaas-phoos”, in ordinary English, I am living on salads, burgers, wraps and weird stuff that folks here call food. Mercifully, I will be going to an Indian store this weekend. Why mercifully? Well, I did try getting something for today to cook, and came to know that chilli powder is out of stock. Not my fault, and left to eat one of the funniest dinners ever possible. Soup, apple, orange juice and left the Greek salad. He just put all possible crotons that one sees in the pots back home, into it. I couldn’t eat it. Just chucked it into the bin without least of remorse.

But the thing to still look forward is the lovely weather, pretty scenic views and some interesting shopping left to be done. I hope these things will not be disappointing. I’ll have to go about with a pinch of salt, am all alone, so wherever I go it will be “Main aur meri tanhayee, aksar yeh batein karte hai….” Oops, forgot my Ipod Nano and the rebel, chalo kuch to hai.

PS: The title is inspired by my dear friend, recent Ex-Infoscion.
PS 2: It is that undying habit to comment and express my critical views upon everything, something and nothing that is driving me to end up writing such posts. Earlier it was just few people who were subjected to this torture, now thru this blog I have the humanity. (The sadist in me - Chuckles!! )

Oz, here I am!

2007-05-30T06:46:00.000+05:30

There are some cherished dreams, some secret desires, some things one has always wanted to do and some places that one always wanted to visit. Australia is among the top few countries I always wanted to visit. Out here on a short official trip, I have a pretty decent opportunity to visit some parts of Western Australia to be precise, Perth

and its surroundings. Quite an unexpected place to go when visiting this country, but that’s how I have always been and I am enjoying every minute of it.

After all the hustle-bustle and loads of attention from you-know-who, it suddenly feels very lonely. Tough is the word. But am sure we can get through. Probably worth the effort now, really??!!??

“Oceans apart day after day.....and I can't seem to find my way...”

I covered my 14 hour journey in two steps with a couple of hours stop-over at Singapore. Trust me, I couldn’t sleep more than a couple of hours all through. Yes, for the soporiphic creature I am, it is actually very tough to sleep in an air-plane. Let me clear your doubts, I flew by the Singapore airlines and it is among the most comfortable airline to fly by. I just seem to have too many attractions every time I fly. The take-off, the view, the movies (managed to catch on two movies that I missed watching – Guru and Music & Lyrics), oh! well, the food is something not to be missed either. For all the things I end up trying and sometimes miserably failing, I enjoyed my meals on-board too. Wouldn’t want to alarm anyone, but all said and done the air-hostess on Singapore Airlines are mostly very pretty and I really envy the way they do their hair. I can never dream of having mine in any sane style ever. Coming to my pet window seat, it is always an attraction and here are some pics taken at 10000 odd meters above the sea-level covering the Aussie coastline.

Managed to settle down pretty cozily out here, will update with happenings in Perth in a short time from now.

Master Card

2007-05-23T13:38:00.000+05:30

“There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there is Master Card.” The punch line is too good to be forgotten or to be ignored. Often I have pondered over what all are these “some things”.

A soft touch, a spontaneous hug, a smile can be said as some small things that money can never buy. They become all the more worth when coming from a person you love. Some nights before, having come across a similar situation, I was asked if the same satisfaction and happiness can be given to me if I were given a BMW. Surely not! There are certain achievements in life that come from pure love, sheer passion and total disregard to what others think. The people who manage to live by them are the true winners.

The outcome of these achievements could be success in relationships and/or profession. We hear people emphasizing the importance of the personal life and relationships and lecturing about the need to slow down professionally. How many have actually thought that if a person is a go-getter professionally, has an ambition to succeed beyond all odds, then what’s he/she made up of? For the better part of the times this is a consideration given to men and off late to some women. Man being the traditional bread winner, the ambition and stubbornness was and is still acceptable. In the changing times we have some women joining this club. It is a welcome change and what is even nicer is the fact, many of these ambitious or super-ambitious men actually want such women in their life too.

I had started this post with a plan to write about the “some things” and “everything else” that money cannot/can buy. A lot has been said about the finer aspects and emotional support. But having them is just not enough. Rather I would say, because you have them, you now should be in a position to get more from life. Otherwise, where is the difference between you and the ordinary bloke on the road? In the mire of comparisons, unsatisfied jobs, and daily routines - we somehow tend to loose the focus on the bigger picture.

Living in the present and looking ahead, just a tad little bit toward the bigger picture can help ease one out of lot of frustrating things. A preachy blog! Well, yes. Thought it was pertinent to the busy, horrid schedules that we lead. And having learnt to tackle it, I do have some right to preach. What say? :)

Flowing like ..... Water

2007-05-03T14:03:00.000+05:30

This weekend was spent doing some of the most mundane things. Lazed around, read a magazine, touched on Wodehouse, cleaned up lot of neglected closets, bathed at leisure without even bothering about time. Watched a movie and thought I might just crash. Pretty ordinary, peaceful day till then and yet memorable, in terms of the time I got for myself, quite a change from the ordinary. Must say, the rat race is pretty abhor able.

With world cup finals having started, my sis came up with the proposition of watching ‘Water’ – Deepa Mehta film. I must say, I was a little weary at that time in the night to watch it. But then, had been postponing this particular movie for a while now and the idea to watch a good movie won over my sleep deprivation.

I really don’t wish to do any kind of movie review here, but then it was simply excellent! Strong in its story line, subtle in portrayal of situations with a nice under current to be felt by the viewer accompanied by some very good cast and direction to back up. Water, was straight and hard-hitting. A seven year old little girl is married and then widowed and left in the widow aashram as that is the custom of the times. She is waiting for her mother to come and take her back home. How heart wrenching can that be? The supposed explanation she is given is “When the husband dies, half of the woman dies and hence an aashram is the best place for her”. The girl replies, “But, she is half alive.” Subtle dialogues like these that give this movie a nice touch and set one thinking.

The meanings of the rituals and practices written in the scriptures have been understood as per the convenience of the times and more so as per the convenience of the wealthy people of the times. This is pertinent even now. Just that, this has shifted to politics and politicians make use of religion and manipulate people to fill their pockets. At the end of the day, it’s all about money, honey.

Being the optimist, I hope to see an improvement in the world and more so in the treatment of children around. We, the blogging or say the Inet accessible community, all said and done, is definitely more privileged when compared to millions of others. Isn’t it time, we did something about people around us? The question is part rhetoric too, because going with the milieu it is very easy to follow the crowd.

I think it is time I did something.

To catch an in-depth review of Water, check out Rashmi Bansal’s blog.

Topsy - Turvy

2007-04-17T10:15:00.000+05:30

Hit and trials, endless discussions and heated arguments seemed the norm of the day for a while now. There was a point when I prayed that time would just be forwarded and I wake up four years older. Can you beat that?? How desperate did I get to be left all alone and by myself.

Have you heard of life going topsy-turvy? Priorities changing dramatically, twenty-four hours seeming too less and days flying past before you can stop to take notice and somehow just not being able to take out time for anyone or anything else. With no further narratives let me end this and get to the crux of the matter.

To sum it up in one word or rather sentence, I have found that person with whom I would like to spend the rest of my life with.

I don’t seem to be scared about it nor flustered. Uncertainty of future (ah! a paradox), don’t seem to bother me and before anyone starts to assume, let me say I have no tinted glasses either. But definitely life seems much better.

An affair to remember

2007-03-23T15:33:00.000+05:30

On a rainy sunday afternoon, I watched one of the most enchanting romantic movie. A 1957, classic movie, which made me feel very glad to see. The story line would have been used a number of times earlier, but am sure there can be no parallel to it.

Our love affair is a wondrous thing
That we'll rejoice in remembering
Our love was born with our first embrace
And a page was torn out of time and space

Our love affair, may it always be
A flame to burn through eternity
So take my hand with a fervent prayer
That we may live and we may share
A love affair to remember

PS: Was rumbling through my collection and found these poems. Liked them and decided its time for them to see the light of the day.

Poet, Lover, Birdwatcher

2007-03-23T14:03:00.000+05:30

Poet, Lover, Birdwatcher

To force the pace and never to be still

Is not the way of those who study birds

Or women. The best poets wait for words.

The hunt is not an exercise of will

But patient love relaxing on a hill

To note the movement of a timid wing;

Until the one who knows that she is loved

No longer waits but risks surrendering -

In this the poet finds his moral proved

Who never spoke before his spirit moved.

The slow movement seems, somehow, to say much more.

To watch the rarer birds, you have to go

Along deserted lanes and where the rivers flow

In silence near the source, or by a shore

Remote and thorny like the heart's dark floor.

And there the women slowly turn around,

Not only flesh and bone but myths of light

With darkness at the core, and sense is found

But poets lost in crooked, restless flight,

The deaf can hear, the blind recover sight.

-Nissim Ezekiel

Heroplane

2007-03-15T18:31:00.000+05:30

My daily bus drive to office takes me around the city in about an hours’ time. The best part of the morning ride is the view of the airport runway. Many a times the timing of our bus has been such that the aeroplane just about lands or is about to take off. The alignment during take off is perfect. The front wheels are exactly in middle of the lights that are placed for marking this. There is hardly any level of deviation to this.

To me, the take-off, airborne flight and landing have always been a matter of awe. Fine, I heard people yelling that science has progressed so much and all the jibberish and so on, but I insist on writing this blog. I insist on capturing those innocent and pristine memories of childhood when I used to stand in my balcony and wave at those helicopters or an occasional plane that flew over our house. And assume that they can actually see me and they do wave back, just that I can’t see that they are waving. Sometimes even go running behind the plane in an attempt to chase it. I remember my little bro calling the Airport, Hairport and the Aeroplane, Heroplane. It has kind of stuck on and mostly all of us at home still use the same name. It instantly brings a smile on our faces and throws one into reverie of the golden period.

Looking at the surface from a height of thousands of feet for an acrophobic can be a quite exhilarating experience. I never miss the window seat in my journeys. Well if the plane crashes then I might as well see my last descent. Some would say, what a pessimistic way of travel, but then I look at it otherwise. I am in absolute awe of the latest Boeing 787. The pics sent were courtesy one of my Aerospace engineer friend. This guy is scared of flying, for the simple reason that he kinda knows what could be wrong because of such and such noise. Good gracious! I didn’t take that branch in my engineering; otherwise added to my fear things would just have been “flights of fantasy”.

And yes, I am soon to get a Boeing craft as a gift from the same “Aero” friend. Will update the blog with a pic, as and when I get it.

This post is dedicated to the same “Aero A” friend.

Gone with the wind

2007-02-22T13:29:00.001+05:30

A glimpse of one of my most cherished books - Gone with the wind.

“After all, to-morrow is another day.” are the words of Scarlett O’ Hara in the famous book Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. These words have etched themselves in my spirit. Many times in life one experiences incidents that seem unjust and very incorrect. They seem to shake our belief in the system that exists and the world itself. It is then that I say to myself that “Tomorrow is another day” and keep the indomitable spirit alive.

The first time I read this book, it became my instant favourite. The central characters in this book are those that I have always adored. It is primarily because I can see glimpses of myself in them, mirroring my thoughts and my spirit.

The beautiful Scarlett O’ Hara is the perfect heroine. Through the pages, one tends to love her, hate her, adore her and detest her. Born to an Irish father and mother who was a Coast aristocrat of French descent, the eldest of the three daughters, Scarlett is a mixture of her mother’s genteel looks and an Irish temper. Story set in the backdrop of the American Civil War, the book reveals a lot about the lives of Southern people in those times. The customs and traditions of the days bound Scarlett to be prim and proper but her real self is reflected in these lines: “The green eyes in the carefully sweet face were turbulent, willful, lusty with life, distinctly at variance with her decorous demeanour.” This willful nature has most appealed to me.

During the Civil war, Scarlett is thrown into a situation where she has look after her family in every which way. She is a mother, widow and now a caretaker and provider all at nineteen. From the cushy existence of less than few months she is now in a situation where she does not know where the next meal can be got for her family.

Her character displays an innate sense of practicality and objectivity. There are umpteen examples when she tells herself “I’ll think about this later – Yes, later when I can stand it.” By thinking so, Scarlett is compartmentalizing her thoughts. She is trying to concentrate her energies towards more pressing concerns and is analyzing the best possible solution given the circumstances. Though some of her tactics may have seemed to have been carried out without ethics, but in the given circumstances she acted upon them objectively. One striking example is when Scarlett, in her effort to save her home, Tara, finally hits upon the idea of marrying her sister’s beau when all other measures have failed. It is highly unethical thing to do. But, she realizes that if her sister had got married, as was planned, Tara could never be saved.

Hence, she takes the drastic step to marry a second time, without any concern to her feelings. From the time she marries, her primary motive is to save her home, Tara which she eventually succeeds. Coming to the protagonist of this plot, Rhett Butler, he is the most charming and outspoken character that can be described. As the story progresses one understands that this character believes in himself and most importantly can stand for his views. It is exactly for this reason that he is considered an ill-bred person by the people around him. Many instances of the same can be observed. For instance, when he openly expresses his views about how the Southerners have only “cotton and arrogance” to fight the Yankees and tells the rest to take stock of the situation before it is too late. He is able to face the truth and most importantly has the courage to express the truth in clear cut terms to all.

The central theme of this book revolves around land and this is woven intrinsically into the story. The Southerner’s pride in his cotton or the courage to fight the Yankees till the very end, all of it shows how important land is. Scarlett values her mother and on par red hills of Tara, her home and estate. Margaret Mitchell has shown the love and affection towards one’s motherland in a very poignant fashion.

Me

2007-02-07T11:25:00.000+05:30

This birthday started on a very different note. Some of the most unexpected folks wished me and the most expected didn't at the time expected. Among the various gifts this 'pome' is a novel item. Being pertinent to the blog, I decided to air it.

Me in sentience,

Approbation blest.

Naivety and nefariousness

Advert my zest.

So Save your reverence,

My Acrid clapper is at the best.

- The Raakshas

Ps: From a friend, who calls his penmanship - The Raakshas.

Profile

2007-02-06T15:15:00.000+05:30

A painting by Mary Cassat

Can't think of a title!

2007-01-12T18:35:00.000+05:30

Ahh!! I finally get some time to start this new year on my blog. 2006 seems to have gone past in a whiff. Thought it was just my perception, surprisingly many people have concurred on this. In a way, it feels good.

2007 is here and we are soon to hit mid Jan. I am yearning for a pause: a pause from duties, responsibilities, ambition and relationships. Not that I am vexed, but then life a little slow paced would probably suit me a lot better. May be just take a year off and go around India. Splendid!

But, the flip side of all this is that am enjoying myself tremendously. Just read about the ephemeral and ever changing factor in life conveyed as a simile through Water. Yes, I quite agree to that.

Coming in touch with long lost friends, one always ends up being jittery as to how would this meeting be. The moment you meet the void automatically fills up and there seems to be a continuum of time. The magic of the days gone by rekindles itself and results in the best.

This year, has started on a similar note. Lets see hows the desert safari this year :-))

Urge

2006-12-27T17:08:00.000+05:30

The urge to blog comes up at the most inopportune moments. Worst time is when the lights are out and am cozily wrapped up in my blanket. I think am at my scribing best at that time and totally loath the idea of changing status quo. Chances are rare when I have overcome my “Garfieldian” tendencies to open my lappy and start scribbling.
Presumably this situation is similar with many of us. Some I heard, have their brainwaves in the loo (man! What a place!!??!!) . I wonder what all are the other places/times when the bulb glows. (doesn’t that phrase immediately remind one of the scene when Jerry has a brainwave to tackle Tom? It does for me :-) )

So whenever or whatever, I hope the bulbs keep popping for you when required all through the coming year.

Yippie…. 2007 is coming soon.

Winters in Hyd

2006-12-12T10:01:00.000+05:30

The onset of winter in these parts of the country is very different from those in northern part of the country. For that matter elsewhere in the world where temperatures dip very low during the day and snow covered landscapes are a regular feature.

All said and done, the winters here in Hyd are nice in their own way. A respite from the scorching summers that never seems to end. Mornings are lined with sun and a slight chill in the air that seems to play a hide – n – seek with ones mood. An instantly smile is obvious. What better way to start a day?

The slightest signs of chill in the air and folks around are out with their winter couture. Well, even we should get a chance to sport all those cardigans and jackets painfully collected to ward off the wintery blues. आखिर हमे हक्क नही है क्य। ? That kind of seems to be the attitude around here. Having stayed in a very cold place at one point of time, this attitude did seem to put me off. Did have a condescending look toward all those creatures who brought out the sweaters at the slightest provocation of cold. But then, times have changed, am soon to be a quarter centurian and more to say “Once a Hyderabadi, always a Hyderabadi”. Caring a damn about what the outsiders think, I have joined the bandwagon with utmost alacrity.

With the IT corporates abuzz, this laid back town is now running to keep up with the changing times. I am both happy and sad with this change. The city dresses itself to follow all the myriad festivals coming up and Christmas and New year being round the corner along with Id, winters in Hyd are very vibrant, in spite of the chill. What the heck!!! I get to wear my jackets ;-)

Teri Deewani...

2006-11-02T10:05:00.000+05:30

बहुत कम लॉगॊ कॊ बेताहा चाहा है..
उन्की दीवानी हू मै…
यह आप्के लिए…

"preet ki lath mohe aaisi laagi
ho gayi main matwaali
bal bal jaaun apane piya ko
he main jaaun vaari vaari
mohe sudh budh naa rahi tan mann ki
yeh toh jaane duniya saari
bebas aur laachar phiru main
haari main dil haari - 2

tere naam se jee loon - 2
tere naam se marr jaaun - 2
teri jaan ke sadke mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani- 2
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani - 2

ishq junoon jab hadh se badh jaaye - 2
haste haste aashiq suli chadh jaaye
ishq ka jaadu sara chadha kara bole - 2
khoob laga lo pehre raste rab khole
yahi ishq di marzi hain
yahi rab di marzi hain
yahi ishq di marzi hain
yahi rab di marzi hain
tere bin jeena kaisa
ah khush kar thi hai
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani - 4

oh ho oh hoohhhh...

he main rang rangeeli deewani - 2
ke main albeli main mastani
gaaun bajaaun sabko rijhaaun
he main dila zaram se begaani
ke main deewani main deewani
tere naam se jee loon tere naam se marr jaaun
tere jaan ke sadle mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani
teri deewani deewani..."

-Kailash Kher
Album: Kailasa

A pleasure

2006-10-18T09:17:00.000+05:30

Just when I thought the day will never end...
The last ounce of patience seems to be ebbing out...
The auto breaks down...
Water seems to be the most elusive thing ever available on the surface of the earth...
And the face wears an expression of a disgusting frown...irritated and depressed....

A child looks at you and suddenly waves with a divine smile.....

I was jolted to reality with that. A smile was then inevitable and suddenly the day didn't seem bad at all.

That scene of the child will remain one of my fondest memories - Keep smiling!

Fragrances

2006-10-17T09:18:00.000+05:30

Earliest recollections of fragrances that linger are those of musk that my father used. One whiff and I knew he was around and that filled my heart with joy, most sublime and pure. These were the treats of childhood that one whiff even now take me back to those days. Dad’s perfumes are some of the best fragrances and can vouch for them any day. A rugged Brut or Denim or sophisticated Paco Rabanne and the Davidoff coolwater or anything that he uses brings an instant smile. Personally I have always liked the men’s perfume more than those for ladies. Somehow the florals put me off and find them too pungent for my taste.

There do exist a set of women’s perfume that I like and use them based on my mood or occasion. The very first ladies perfume that I liked was White Jovan Musk. I was suddenly thrilled to find something that was faint and yet had a sublime character that made it suddenly stand out. It was an instant hit with me and I took it to as fish takes to water.

The next I chanced upon was Hugo Boss. The men’s version is definitely good but the one for ladies ain’t bad either. Definitely top of the class and makes its mark instantly. Hugo is a tad much stronger than White Jovan Musk is but all the more sexier than the latter. There is a hint of mischief in it that appeals to my senses immensely. It is not fruity or floral. In a plane of its own, Hugo Boss for me is for special occasions and special people.

Davidoff Coolwater is also one of my favorites. As always the men’s version appeases me more than that for women. Thankfully the latter isn’t any let down either. I see it’s been pretty widely advertised these days. The beauty of Davidoff is the sophistication involved along with freshness. Hugo Boss is more sensual in an adventurous manner. And any day, Jovan Musk is far rarer than these but great for daily usage.

Coming to my latest finds, its Givenchy’s Organza. The first time I was asked to check it out, Hugo Boss had cast its effect. The second try was definitely worth it. The strongest aroma of all that I have ever liked, have realized that this one is an instant hit with many men. Partly floral and a tad fruity, Organza seems to represent a woman. I particularly like the bottle too and probably it is this image that also makes it particularly feminine.

Perfumes are very personal and they definitely represent a personality. Choosing the one that suits one the most is not easy, but once found it will always help one make a mark. Indulge in redolence!

Top Of The World

2006-09-16T16:51:00.000+05:30

Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in 'most ev'ry thing I see
Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now comin' true especially for me
And the reason is clear, it's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Somethin' in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

(Richard Carpenter/John Bettis)

Addiction or Indulgence?

2006-09-14T16:39:00.000+05:30

My intro happened when I was in class six. The freezing temperatures were the compelling factors for this meet. I was not averse to the idea but then the enthusiasm was also not too high to try out something new. Mom insisted may be you could have biscuits and start to know more. The prospect didn’t seem bad and decided to taste for the very first time what tea was like.

From dipping biscuits to an all time anytime tea – a –holic, I am a self confessed tea freak who lives by the notion that there can never be anything better to drink than this. I mean in any circumstance a cup of tea is always gladly welcome. Lately, I was deprived of this at office cos of certain logistic constraints, in short I didn’t have a cup to drink from the dispenser. Ginger tea or a nice well made home tea tops the charts but then once you are soo addicted it seems imperative to have it in any which way. I don’t compromise much upon it though, coz I went all the searching for the best tea stall even during my Sing stay. My poor friends had to withstand my madness of having it from one particular place only irrespective of whatever the situation.

If there were some Things that I can never live without, I think tea tops it all. I can go all preachy about how it is good for general health and blah blah, but let me stop right here. Dedicating a post to it must have given you enough of an idea what a freak I am.
Well, if you also have such an addiction or rather indulgence do let me know. It’s always nice to know .

Cheers and happy Tindulgence!

PS: This post is also dedicated to one of my amazing tea companion with whom I have shared many a lovely conversations. :-)

LOST!

2006-09-07T10:41:00.000+05:30

What happens when all your life support systems are shutdown??? Death!

That's how I feel... sans all that I valued most either taken away from me or distanced from me. My life's most important pillars are no more there for me the way they used to.

I will survive... but I do not know about the quality of it.

Confusions & Marriage

2006-08-30T16:45:00.000+05:30

At 24, I assumed one generally tends to be in some state of clarity with regard to what’s wanted in life. Contrary to my assumption, I seem have no idea on anything that’s of any consequence. Status quo would have been just fine, but the sudden urgency that folks at home seem to have about my settling down – or in one word Marriage, is quite unsettling for my languid existence.

My sentiments are mirrored in all those twenty something Indian girls who are pursued by their parents to get married. The reasons given are “We want to see you happily married and settled” or “It is a great responsibility.” … “You are now twenty-…. It is the right time for you to be married” etc etc… the list is endless. In a way it seems alright. But then it is a question of my entire life and I really would want to take a well-thought out step and most importantly when I think I am ready for it. Within the garbs of freedom come the responsibilities. Quite an irony is what I think. Secondly, they don’t always seem to understand what is this thing called “chemistry” I keep yapping about. Immediately I hear that I should compromise. Agreed! Marriage in itself involves innumerable compromises, but then there is something that I believe in. My sis very neatly framed it, Do not comprise on the guy, compromise with the guy.

If I get married, I would want to be happy on my wedding day. Look forward for spending my life with this guy I totally adore. Be excited about it. But then, I’ll have to watch and see what destiny holds for me. The entire idea of marriage becomes such a big nuisance when you have worried parents and hyper excited relatives whose only aim is to see you married. Everywhere I go, the only thing people ask is when am I getting married. I am sure to tell them as soon as I find a guy, but then for heaven’s sake please allow me to find one. My married and committed friends also seem to have jumped the other side. They are equally vehement about it. Net result of all this is that I feel am thirty plus, very old and past an age where I can secure a ‘Suitable boy’.

All this does make me pretty indifferent…. But then, wish u all a happy and peaceful existence, irrespective of the fact whether you are single, hitched or married.

Swings

2006-08-20T20:12:00.000+05:30

Sometimes its just tad depressing for no point whatsoever. Everything simply seems an absolute waste. A lack of enthu or anything that’s left of it. Wonder what causes this void. This complete feeling of being stranded in an abyss and nothing that I do seems to lift me from here.

Does this happen to all? Or am I one of those few souls who end up feeling absolutely lonely in spite of the fact I have everyone around.

I hate being morbid!

Health

2006-08-20T15:12:00.000+05:30

One visit to the hospital and one realises how truly blessed we are. Going as a visitor may not make one realise but if one is going for some medication that's when it hits the hardest.

Life is very valuable and spending it cribbing or angry merely wastes its purpose. Tuesdays with Morrie.. a lovely book.. in that Morrie talks about the way Buddhist monks start their day. They assume a bird is sitting on their shoulder and ask if today is the day... and live it as their last.

A preachy blog... but then...Live life to the fullest and keep smiling :-)

Irony

2006-08-17T09:19:00.000+05:30

Why does it have to happen to me time and again that when I want something/someone I do not get and once I decide to move on.... I get it!

Somehow.... I feel dead!

mann...

2006-08-08T16:58:00.000+05:30

Ek choti si baat jo main kabhi kabhi bhool jaati hoon…. Abhi laga ki aisa kyu karti hoon…tabhi yeh panktiyan mujhe mili….

Mann ka ho to accha hai
par mann ka na ho to aur bhi accha hai
kyunki jab mann ka nahi hota
tab woh hota hai jo Uske mann mein hai
aur woh tumhare mann ke iccha se accha hota hai

Cellular Attachments

2006-07-20T13:15:00.000+05:30

It is said that one should lead a life sans attachments or more so with detachable attachments in order to succeed and get what is wanted. I am not sure if I would be able to implement something like this completely but in a way would admit that am a callous person. A number of things that seem to really bother others don’t bother me. But then, there are these very small issues or objects that are very close to me. Primarily I would say because of the memories associated with them. Memories of something very nice and novel that changed my life in its own way that I can never forget. Associated with some of those people whom I have and will always love and respect, whether they stay in my life or move away from it.

After two years and nine months I have fallen madly in love. Something most unexpected and something that just simple carried me off my feet. I was more or less convinced that this change would never happen, but then life is what one can fashionably sum up as unexpected and weird. Bottomline for all this is, I finally changed my phone. I realize the above lines are highly overrated but then my attachment and sentiments with my first phone ( Nokia 8250) have been so strong that I simply found no reason to change it. Until yes, I found something that equally appeals to my personality. After undying loyalty and love for Nokia phones, not just me but my entire family vouching the same, I have hopelessly fallen for Samsung E900. Just less than a day old and I am in love with it already. There have been innumerable little memories with my old phone and with the new one I think its just the beginning of another long and lovely affair.

I realize this piece is how absolutely mundane and materialistic, but then in this fast paced era the phone seems absolutely inseparable. The best way to catch up with the people I love or miss is to give a call and hear them talk. Sometimes it just does not matter what they are talking but then it’s a pleasure to just know that they at least have the time to talk to you. Tell you about their days’ events and make you feel that being miles away you are still a part of their lives in some cellular way.

SIndulgence

2006-07-07T19:11:00.000+05:30

My day begins with a promise to myself that I'll sleep again early during the day. Sadly that is fulfilled late in the night. It's always the case when I think I am going to sleep early tonite and end up really late. The weekends are usually dedicated towards absolute sloth. The one and only thing that lingers on my mind is that this weekend I am going to sleeeeeeppp. Ah! A wish that rarely comes true, coz as one should have it one can hardly sleep when one has all the time to do anything that one wishes. Sleep then, seems absolutely trivial. Can you believe that?? A paradox that I am trying to resolve since the time I took up this godforsaken job.

Anyways, let us return to the most pertinent point of my life... Sleep. My dad, like many, believes that 4-5 hours of deep sleep is sufficient for a person. I know, it sounds blasphemous to many (that includes me too). But, the fact remains its person dependant. Some need just about 4-5 hours and some even 9 hours. Unfortunately, for my poor dad who is a major workaholic and the types who can run for over two days without proper sleep, his daughters love spending time sleeping. Having been part of the supposed hi-tech world for some years now, I have also developed the notion that I can actually make up for the sleep lost over the weekdays during the weekends. Scientifically proven fact remains that this is not true and one cannot cache the sleep this way. But I suppose this is more psychological.

The whole of last week I have felt that I have been deprived of the most important thing in life and also have been working too hard. Secondly, this week I have spent majority of my time just sleeping. Strangely, no amount seems enough. The whole of Friday is spent on a single hope that one can rest rather crash over the weekend. But, somehow this Friday evening my sleep seems to have vanished the moment I stepped out of office. What do you think this is? Am I actually soporific or non-workaholic? Please don’t bother to answer because whatever the answer I cannot accept either of the options. Dukh hota hai yaar… sach ko aise jhel pana ;-)

All said and done.. this blog is for one of my fondest (sleepy) indulgence.

Days gone by...

2006-06-28T09:04:00.000+05:30

Sometimes the days are so busy that it seems merely a couple of days and an entire week or fortnight has gone by. The busy schedules and the eternal rush to get to some place or the other has made me forget that June is coming to an end. Half of the year would be over!

Hmm.. so its definitely some time to stop and take a stock of the situation. This definitely reminds me of the famous Einstein quote –

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”

How the relativity factor brings in a different angle to every aspect. The days that seem to have flown past or the hours that dragged on like days. All in all a pretty interesting month so far. Managed to get another stamp on my passport and enjoyed my stay in KL. Experimented with my new cam and realized am relatively a mere novice and a long way to go to be considered a true amateur.

June brings back many fond memories and its been three years since I started working. I think its time I get back to my books now :-)

Rendezvous

2006-05-21T17:21:00.000+05:30

Walking down levels and levels of shopping arcades it makes me wonder how much do people buy, whether they need that thing or not. There is a sale of handbags and shoes and I saw a sea of people there. Primarily women and some bored men towing behind. Occasionally some men did seem to be interested. Incidentally, I happened to end up at this sale and did pick up couple of bags. I was silently commenting on how exactly these people here buy stuff unnecessarily and there I go, totally gaga over three bags and end up buying two of them. I realize there would be many who wouldn’t understand this behaviour. Please believe me, neither do I quite fathom this fad. Nor the enthusiasm to shop that seems to subside but then tends to come back within half hour of being in the presence of some interesting articles.

Somehow managed to free myself from such worldly pleasures and spend some quality time – with myself. It is but rare when I get such moments when all I do is simply follow my mind without bothering about whose around and what would people with me want. A little niceties that seem to be dying in today’s times. Simple pleasures bring in maximum happiness. Licking an ice-cream while strolling over to the river side amidst peak traffic hour, is a feeling that I had quite forgotten. The supposed busy schedule and career seem to drown the basics of what I would call the pleasures of life.

A little philosophical, can’t help developing such a bent while sitting quietly at the river front. The awe-inspiring structures seem to quietly mellow down from the tough gray to the soothing lights of the evening. Lights dancing on the silent undulation. One of those rare days one gets to notice that in the equatorial region the natural light of the evening persists for a longer period than one realizes when stuck in office. There was just one thing that seemed a little amiss; I missed the nice hot strong cup of tea.

Muddat ke baat , kuch samay apne aap ke saath, bahut acha laga.

Random thoughts

2006-05-15T20:34:00.000+05:30

There are times when I feel like entering a copy of every moment that goes past or rather observations that would make up something interesting to ponder. The feeling is overpowering. A greed to capture the most vivid or weirdest of incidents that fascinate me.

An interesting play of light on water or a lovely long ride to end of a country on a moon lit night, the moment seems just beyond words to capture. The harmony of the waves gently caressing the white sands or the expanse of azure stretching to the horizon. Some of the most stellar settings of the nature are so simply done, I am humbled.

Thrown in with an equally interesting and lively mix of company makes the experience cherish. The disparity in thought or the equanimity in action is also fun. Couldn’t help but notice that there should just be one chef per kitchen. The rest as followers makes things amiable. One place where I can surely say that team work is good but contributing ideas is a bad option.

What makes all this randomness complete is the music that seems to be inherent in all the elements that are a part of it.

Single... and ready to...mingle??

2006-05-02T19:54:00.000+05:30

Alone!!! Staying all by myself in a far off land isn’t all that bad. Connected to the rest of the world with the best form of communication, am very content with my existence. Except that sometimes there is quite a depression that sets in during the night. The prospect of preparing one’s own dinner and eating the same, oh lord! What an agony! The reason you are still able to see this post is coz the primary contents of my victuals are a generous gesture from my aunt. In spite of such an act I still have to do the minimum, cook the rice. Believe me, it isn’t such a bad thing to do. Just that I have to clean all those vessels I utilize in my cooking and eating, immediately after I have my dinner, is what depresses me the most.

With a bout of overconfidence that I acquired in the last few days, in preparing rice in the most original style, I permitted myself to enjoy a small chat and let the rice overcook. Frankly, I cannot lie out here, so let me say I burnt some of it. Don’t worry, I still had a hearty dinner, but you can definitely imagine what an agony it was to clean the mess. This is one of the main reasons that deters me from cooking. The amount of cleaning that goes into the process kills the enthu in totality. One can ask, as to why bother about the neatness aspect and all, but the neatness freak in me cannot tolerate.

Burdened by my whims for neatness and torn for a nice home meal, I subject myself to such torture. I suppose finding a roomie might help me in humouring things a little. So long people… main aur mera kitchen… aksar yeh sochte hai… tum na hote to kaisa hote…

Single and not really ready to mingle... too much of a burden just for avoiding some cleaning.
Mama… am coming back to you ;-)

ELVIS

2006-04-27T21:22:00.000+05:30

My introduction to Elvis was through my sis and thanks to her... now 'I can't help falling in love.... " with his voice. One of the best singers I have ever heard to. Even after all these years he surely ... LIVES... ELVIS!

One of my favourites here...

You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
(You were always on my mind)
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
(You were always on my mind)
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
(You are always on my mind)
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Maybe I didn`t treat you…
Quite as good as I should have…

Vicissitudes

2006-04-09T20:51:00.000+05:30

In a day, there are certain moments when you feel, "WOW!!! Everything is going my way" and then just about one small incident or word that alters your mood drastically. A sudden change in circumstances that sometimes bring reality crashing down onto you.

I wish I was as brave as Duke Senior, who says,

"Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life exempt from public haunt
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones and good in every thing.
I would not change it."
--Act 2, Scene I- As you like it, William Shakespeare.

But then I try to sing it off by...

"Kabhi zindagi lage bhaari,
kabhi lagti halki-phulki.
Iske rang haske dekhe,
apnaa le khushi... har pal ki."

Singapore!

2006-04-02T20:13:00.001+05:30

Am finally in Singapore! Didn’t quite expect that to happen so soon, but then no regrets either. Pretty much a feeling of home and a always a lingering feeling that India should also be like this at some point of time soon. The infrastructure here is amazing and its truly an experience.

Work pressures take away a lot of time but then the challenge lies in being part of both worlds. A number of new things out here and a lot of interesting stuff to do, the freedom here is what probably I enjoy more than anything. My exploration of this place has just begun and my future blogs might see a lot more of this.

An introduction to the Indian community here was definitely interesting. Predominantly dominated by the Tamil Indians, Tamil is one language that’s every where. The perennial misconceptions of most of these NRIs about India and its people and categorizing a nation on that basis, is something I don’t appreciate. But then I suppose it has always been like that.

Yes, one thing I have definitely done is visiting the famous ‘Mustafa’ shopping arcade. As I see it my trips have kind of just begun and there is lots of shopping ahead for me.

This pic happens to be from my room on the 12^th floor. I love the view!

Deadlines Amuse Me!

2006-03-10T21:31:00.000+05:30

Well this was my motto, as a developer, things are cool. You are given such and such work to be completed by such and such time, you just do it. There always remains a yearning desire to be in the coveted position of a lead.

Progress to be a lead and deadlines are no more amusing! Why? Well, simply because doing a task is by far the easier thing to do than getting it done by someone. Struggle or search, whatever the means one can learn and complete a task. There exist varied elements that one comes across, while getting tasks done. Some dependable and some who are not. Now welcome to the third variety, who seemingly gives one, a very high perception of his/her capability but in the end churn up issues that definitely create a perception of standing in at the bottom of an abyss.

But then, all cribs being put up, I still love it when I am in charge. The satisfaction of seeing a good job done or rather let me put it, getting a good job done with such disparate elements is a matter of glee.

Hoping to bask in that situation… I now get back into my monitors role. Yes, deadlines kinda amuse me.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2006-03-01T20:03:00.000+05:30

Chandler and Monica adopt twins and are now moving out in to a new house in the suburbs to start a new life. Phoebe is married found her guy. Rachel found a new job in Paris and is flying away. Ross, just realized that he is in love with Rachel and Joe now has the apartment to himself. That was the last episode of the Friends. The way in which Joe tried to reconcile Chandler’s moving out after the game board was broken and their uncomfy hug, that they silently conveyed. The way Phoebe raced Ross to the airports, to make sure he didn’t miss that one last chance to have Rachel back. Or the six keys being put back by each one of them were far too much to be put in words.

My Friends are such important and integral elements, for me they seem to be the fabric with which my life is woven. Each one representing various hues that make my life as good as it can ever be. This post is to all those special people in my life who have been there for me. Seen me through my little ups and downs and supported me all through.

At a juncture in life today, I hope and pray that they will always be a phone call away. For I am definitely going to be there for all of them, ALWAYS.

Thank you.

First Love

2006-02-22T12:18:00.000+05:30

How often does it happen that one realises the beauty of a situation that they have been through only after, all of it is over and will never return? Am sure many times. The golden era of school days, the last few months in college and many such moments that one either wants to desperately hold on to or later in time cherishes them throughout life.

First love! Ah! For people who have experienced this can relate reliving that unforgettable period. Undeniably, being in love is always an experience worth reckoning, but the first time to have fallen in love is indeed different. It really takes a while before you realise that “I am in love!” . The various doubts plagued with it if you are seriously in one or is it just another bout of infatuation. Probably ranging of a higher order. As it mostly happens for many this realization dawns after a long time and the lucky few who do it in advance revel in it.

Why should this incident or phase be treated so special? Well, irrespective of the person you have fallen in love with (for all one knows he/she might be a complete jerk, that’s beyond point) it is the mere fact that it is for the very first time in your life that you have actually realised what it is to experience love from a partner. To be able to unconditionally love a person, who was a stranger few days/weeks/months back, is definitely a revelation to oneself. “I am capable of so much!” It is these feelings that can help a person evolve into a much better and lovable person.

There are some lucky ones who find their true love in the first person they fall in love with. Superb! As, I believe it is one of the purest forms of love and expression, absolutely guileless. But then, for the many others who aren’t that lucky/unlucky, chill people! You have had a great time, surely and upon choice, can now be a much better person.

Celebrate life!

Undulation

2006-01-31T16:21:00.000+05:30

Always wondered what is so fascinating about water and the seas... my musings were answered with an experience absolutely fascinating and beyond words.

Waves softly hurtling the boat that monotony seemed desirable. A sense of absolute peace and happiness one would never want to let go of. A companion so close that one could relate to and feel the connection with the power that created them. The setting sun casting its reflection was a sight to be cherished. All in all an atmosphere that brought in a feeling to share it with some special people and also to remain alone. Never had I experienced such a dilemma and yet was in a position where I could afford both.

Nature has a way of showing how its dances are so similar to the vicissitudes of our lives. The rhythmic movement of the sea, windswept seemed like a spread of muslin stretching to the ends of the earth. The time had stopped and it was a moment to live in. Undulation that was just there for me, in life and for eternity.

Why did I stop blogging?

2006-01-24T17:21:00.001+05:30

Can’t really say I stopped, but then somehow I got into this highly self-conscious thing about my writing and started analyzing stuff far too critically even before I put it on paper.
Crazy rt?? But how many of the times does it happen that we think about doing something and analyse and re-analyse it so much that eventually the novelty and the freshness of the effort is lost? A period where this happened far too many times with me. In fact had to force myself to pen down something just to keep my blog alive… or may be just breathing.

Do we call this a writer’s block? I wouldn’t fancy myself to be a seasoned one, but then all said and done I do write and hence can claim to be one :-). No wonder, all this while I missed something. I missed the freedom of expressing myself in the form I love the most. Unrestrained and unbridled in the world created by me for me and some others who would want to be a part of it.

So here I was going about noting all that I wanted to pen, at the most weird times and hours, trying to collage and compile and re-compile stuff. The end result I do not post anything. Agreed writing is an art, but I think I want to do it in my way. More spontaneous and more like me!

Welcome!

2006-01-04T14:28:00.000+05:30

A very warm welcome to this New Year and with it the zillions of possibilities that exist with it!

A new year brings with it the myriad openings and ideas that one thought should have been implemented. It fills me with excitement to try and implement something I have never tried before. To try and make the best of this new year.

You might think that I am listing my resolutions.. naah!!! It's too much of an effort to keep up the resolutions made and hence I don't. I simply analyse the possibilities and go ahead living each day as never before.

Hoping that this year would bring in happiness and good health to all-- Happy New Year 2006!!!

Life

2005-12-01T12:41:00.000+05:30

Came upon this write up in a newspaper. How simple and how true, I really loved this.

What’s so romantic about growing old with someone?
When does old begin?
With the first sachet of hair dye?
Or when you start cutting down the sugar?
For that matter when does young end?
You know, it won’t ever.
Not when your eyes meet across a crowded room,
And the magic remains the same as the moment you met.

Celebrate life!

Names

2005-11-30T14:08:00.000+05:30

“What’s in a name?” said Shakespeare. Well frankly speaking in today’s world where a number of things are contact based, I would say everything. But then why am I blessed with this amazing characteristic to forget them?

I meet a so and so and we get on very well. We exchange names and a lot more info that may prove useful. Blimey! It does in most cases and I for one, quite happily forget the name by the end of our first meeting. Sometimes, well this is that rare case when I manage to listen to the name, I remember the person’s name even when I bid them adieu. You have no idea how nice I feel about myself on such occasions. But, the horror of this names and remembering them comes when you bump into this individual somewhere and they come to me beaming all the way. All the while I have this most nagging feeling of, ‘I have seen this face and this face is so so familiar’. And there on starts the eternal search for the links that might help me remember who this person is and where did I meet him/her. Let’s assume I do manage to remember that, well I can do that 95% of the time, I invariably am clueless about their name. Adding insult to injury is the fact when the other person remembers what’s my name and where did we meet.

There are very few people on this planet whose names I have remembered without much ado. The reason can vary from a great liking to abhorrence. So people who do manage to swing my emotions and manage to create some strong impression are the lucky ones. One should not be judged based on a single meeting, say some, but then if it helps me remember, then I guess it sounds better. At least I can avoid the highly embarrassing situation where the other person comes to me and starts talking as long lost friends and uses my name in every alternate line. There are times when I conveniently blamed it on my memory. The actual reason presumably would be that trivialities are ignored by some of my clan. No offense made to anyone, but then I love Shakespeare and go by a lot he said. :-)

Impossible relationships!

2005-11-19T16:14:00.000+05:30

“My gift to impossible relationships…” says Richard Gere in Pretty Woman and gives the money agreed upon. I have lost count of how many times I have watched this movie. It keeps me mesmerized every time I see and every time I do, I come across another nuance of the relationship that the central characters share. Call it an obsession but then all said and done I probably enjoy it so much may be because I can relate to it in some ways. How many times have we wondered about the way relationships take a turn? I suppose every time one touches that discordant chord. For sure this does happen quite a number of times.

I have lost my appetite over them. I have lost my peace of mind over them. Can’t imagine such things happening to me. These seem so alien, I mean why would you want to spoil your health and most importantly mess your mental state because someone you have come across and have started liking and eventually loving to an extent that the above mentioned things seem trivial. I am selfish and arrogant and still am capable of such feelings! Agreed am not some robot, who lacks feelings, but still this quandary beats me. The rationale tells you its pure stupidity but then your heart contradicts it with vehemence. So what should the poor being do? Follow your mind and try to tell yourself that its ok, these kinda things are not for me and are practically impossible or follow your heart and hence pursue the feelings… and in some extreme cases may pursue the interest that has caused this. :-)

Impossible relationships… the phrase seems more than apt. Just makes me say, “Can’t live with it and can’t live without it.”

Having said this, I want you to express your views. Not to present a solution, because that seems a stupidity to ask, but a point of view, a perspective.

Memories

2005-11-07T21:21:00.000+05:30

Memories, memories and more of them. Sometimes one is left with nothing but them. One cannot touch or change or mar them. Instances of the past those remain frozen in spite of the changes occurring all along. How marvelous are some and also are some causing the pain that one never wished would have been through. But then, what is the fun having just good memories? Personally, the trying ones tend to linger longer. It definitely puts a person’s perspective into picture. How would you take it? Learn from it and tackle it or run away from it for the rest of your life? The latter somehow seems easier, though the former is called a best practice. By whom? Well the people in gen. Or more aptly the people who do not wish an individual to get bogged down by them in future. Those people who care for that individual.

The irony remains that at times one doesn’t even want to forget those memories. Tend to cling on to them. I really wonder why. Does this give them a reason to sympathize with what happened to them and then point out the plausible reasons? Kind of self-pity. Or do these memories just happen to recur when one comes in contact with some Memory from the past that links to the main incident? In the process of clearing that old closet did you accidentally dust the dust off those things, which were meant to be dead and bygone?

Reasons could be many, but a Memory does remain yet another fascinating facet of the mind. Always in awe and always trying to know more about yet another enigma.

Urs truly.

Childhood lost!

2005-10-19T15:11:00.000+05:30

Precocious! I heard myself say every time I had an encounter with my little cousin. Children have fascinated me in their own special way. But, off late am facing a certain degree of skepticism when approaching those above the age of seven.

I have found myself enjoying so much with children because of the single reason that I tend to relive my childhood every time I spend time with them. Am glad that I have had quite a splendid time as a child with most of my whims taken care of. Interestingly, I am being pampered at this age, more than I can ever remember. Thanks to my friends and well-wishers. :)

It is quite natural to have one’s mom or dad pet the child. In the nuclear families it is but the only thing to do. Parents completely devote their entire attention and energies toward the single child or max a couple of them. Seems a pretty decent proposition. But then, how often do we see children throwing a tantrum and parents acquiesce it? Quite often is my observation. I wouldn’t comment upon the ways of parenting, as I lack experience. What I cannot fathom is that how is it in the interest of the child to give into every whim? That’s quite exactly the case with my little cousin. She is an intelligent and well behaved child, but then the excessive doesn’t gel with it.

Owing to remarkable technological changes, children today seem to be quite knowledgeable about a number of things. Saying this might sound a cliché on my part, but I had another cousin of mine, eight years my junior, support the same. The cause for concern is that these children in their quest to grow up faster are missing some of the best years of their lives. The innocence which is the essence of childhood is lost. No more can one marvel at their thoughts, if all the while it seems so very precocious.

Some day, I hope to have children of my own and can only hope I am not an excessively indulgent parent and that they preserve the essence of childhood for the time they should.

Which mythical character do I represent?

2005-10-07T16:22:00.000+05:30

And The Phoenix's cycle had reached zenith,

so he consumed himself in fire.

He emerged from his own ashes,

to be forever immortal.

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl (Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum (Egyptian).The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life, the number 0, and the element of fire.His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined individual. You tend to keep your sense of optimism, even through tough times and have a positive outlook on most situations. You have a way of looking at going through life as a journey that you can constantly learn from. Phoenixes are the best friends to have because they cheer people up easily.

Now, this post is for some who know me. Am I a Phoenix :) ?

Tech blogs.

2005-10-06T14:32:00.000+05:30

The last three days have been devoted into extensive blogging :-). Well this time around been prowling the technical blogs. Frankly admitting, I was intimidated by some of the articles I read. Here I am, trying to decipher the basics and these people write a technical blog! Can’t stand this and have a need to understand the underlying concept. So started reading the blog of one of the senior DBA and a self-professed Oracle geek. Really, enjoyed the way he wrote and actually enjoyed the way he presented the various concepts.

Back in school, I realized that only if one has a good teacher for a particular subject can one really relish that subject. Automatically, one can delve deep into the subject and think of many things just beyond the realm of w hat is part of the curriculum. A genuine interest can be aroused among any, even for a subject that might seem as dreary as history. Well thanks to Sister Leela, I enjoyed it. Thanks mam!

So coming back this techies blog, I like the lucidity and clarity with which he presents some of the most involved concepts. The use of simple and clear day to day examples (some might seem stupid, at times) helps the reader in effectively understanding the underlying concept. An art I must say. Presumably, this might come in with years of experience and hard-work.

All in all, I have been lapping up most of the articles that have been presented so far.

How do I love thee?

2005-10-01T16:31:00.000+05:30

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach,

When feeling out of sight for the ends of Being and ideal Grace,

I love thee to everyday's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise;

I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs,

and with my childhood's faith,

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints-

I love thee with my breadth, smiles, tears of all my life! -

And if God chooses,

I shall but love thee better after Death.

-Elizabeth B.Browning

(Sonnets from the Portugese)

Class

2005-09-21T09:09:00.000+05:30

Ambition is what drives many people. My next question would be, where? Am not sure if it always helps to be like this. Rather, is every individual who is a possessor of this raving ambition having the capacity to handle his/her life? Not just in terms of achieving that final goal, but how do they try and get through that major part of journey called life? These questions have plagued me for a while now and after having just finished Eric Segal’s The Class, I think I can safely assume I kind of understand these characters.

Daniel Rossi, Theodore Lambros, George Keller, Jason Gillbert and Andrew Elliot are the central characters of this lovely book. A gifted pianist, a dedicated academician, a shrewd public servant or a zealous patriot and a gifted diarist, each character has been etched carefully. My favourite being Jason Gillbert. I would call him Mr.Perfect. I think I have known one Jason, have to see if this young man really is one. Coming to Rossi, he somehow seems as though I have known a person like him for a while now. So very passionate and so driven. Lambrose and Keller are new facets of Rossi and Gillbert but never as good as them. Andrew Elliot, the preppie was a much essential character to bind the raging ones. He would remain the simplest of all them.
The Class of 58 has somehow left an indelible mark upon me and this blog is not a book review, but a bookmark to remind me of Segal’s best described characters.

If one wants to know as to why Jason Gillbert is Mr.Perfect or what makes these men so tantalizing, then its time to read The Class.

Fairy Tale.

2005-09-09T11:03:00.000+05:30

I think there is at least one song to describe a person’s feeling at any given time. I suppose as homo-sapiens we are predictable and the traits are found to be repetitive.
Here I have listed the lyrics of some such songs that are seemingly improbable and are still likable.

Have You Ever Loved A Woman

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N’ give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
That she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
That it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
Til ya know how she needs to be touched
You’ve gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N’ when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
That you’ll always be together
So tell me have you ever really
-Really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin’ good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...
Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her
That she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
That it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really,
Really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
Really, really, ever loved a woman?

-- Bryan Adams
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Smooth

Man It's a hot one
Like seven inches from the midday sun
I hear you whisper and the words Melt everyone
But you stay so cool My munequita, My spanish harlem Mona Lisa
Your My reason for reason
The step in my groove Pre-Chorus: And if you said
This life ain't good enough
I would give My world to lift you up
I could change my life
To better suit your mood
Because your so smooth yeah Chorus: And It's just like the ocean Under the moon
Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth
Yeah! Give me your heart
Make it real Or else forget about it I'll tell you one thing
If you would leave it'd be a crying shame
In every breath and every word I hear your name calling me out
I'm from the Barrio You hear my rhythm on the radio
You hear the turning of the words so soft and slow
It's turning you, Round.. and Round Pre-Chorus: And if you said
This life ain't good enough
I would give My world to lift you up
I could change my life
To better suit your mood
Because your so smooth yeah Chorus: And It's just like the ocean Under the moon
Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth
Yeah Give me your heart
Make it real Or else forget about it

--Santana.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Aaj Jaane Ki Zid Na Karo

Aaj jaane ki zid na karo (3)
Yunhi pehloo mein baithe raho (2)
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Haay mar jaayenge, hum to lut jaayenge
Aisi baatein kiya na karo
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo (2)
Haay mar jaayenge, hum to lut jaayenge
Aisi baatein kiya na karo
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo

Tum hi socho zara, kyun na roke tumhe
Jaan jaati hai jab uth ke jaate ho tum (2)
Tumko apni qasam jaan-e-jaan
Baat itni meri maan lo
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Yunhi pehloo mein baithe raho (2)
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Haay mar jaayenge, hum to lut jaayenge
Aisi baatein kiya na karo
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo

Waqt ki qaid mein zindagi hai magar (2)
Chand ghadiyan yehi hain jo aazad hain (2)
Inko khokar mere jaan-e-jaan
Umr bhar na taraste raho
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Haay mar jaayenge, hum to lut jaayenge
Aisi baatein kiya na karo
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo

Kitna maasoom rangeen hai yeh sama
Husn aur ishq ki aaj mein raaj hai (2)
Kal ki kisko khabar jaan-e-jaan
Rok lo aaj ki raat ko
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Yunhi pehloo mein baithe raho (2)
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Haay mar jaayenge, hum to lut jaayenge
Aisi baatein kiya na karo
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
-- Farida Khanum

There was a time when I believed in them rather wanted to. They seemed probable even in reality... maybe with the right person. That hope now remains a mere fantasy.
Well, as long as something makes me happy, why not I continue to enjoy it?

Believable or not, these listings are still lovable.

To end it, I chanced upon these lines quite by chance. Beautiful!

“ ‘There are those that say that the most beautiful thing on the dark earth is a multitude of horsemen’ ”
“ ‘Others say it is an armada of ships.’ ”
“ ‘But I say it is the one you love.’ ”
--Sappho, Fragment 16

2005-09-05T15:02:00.000+05:30

My experiment with words continues. There are in fact so many things that form a part of the written etiquette that have to be followed for effective written communication. Am not sure if all my blogs adhere to those, but then it is better late than never.

In this journey of words and their structure, MS Word forms an effective tool. One can’t completely rely on it, but it does help correcting many sentence constructions. Writing arbitrarily on something or everything seems to be the only thing that’s going on in my head these days. That brings me to the idea of a muse. It seems to me that my best efforts are the ones I probably write in my mind. I know that it sounds laughable, but then I seemed to be struck with the Kubla Khan effect, even without the poet’s maladies. The best of ideas seem to be pouring when the lights are off and am about to hit the sack… reflecting upon the day or the days gone past. Hmm… so I guess night lenses seem absolutely essential. Somehow all this seems to be too much of an investment towards my writings. But then, if some of my friends want to see me filling my blog on a regular basis… I think this is now becoming a must. ;-) What say people? Cannot say I have many people visiting my blog very often, but the few who do mean a lot to me.

The harsh realities of this world sadden me at times. Some of the most accomplished writers seem not to know how to criticize a written piece. It is not enough to just point the negative aspect of the piece. It is a must to point the positive aspects if one has decided to comment. I think every piece of art will have something to praise upon. How can these ‘experienced writers’ forget this basic fact? Yes, I did get some comments upon some of my scribbles. I knew there were abundantly many reasons to have written the piece much better but I also knew it was not bad. Critical comments are most welcome. In fact I love them very much. But what I came across was something far crummier. It is sad to even mention it that I refrain from blogging it.

But then, it’s me and I’ll Reclaim my life !!!

Taj!

2005-08-03T14:27:00.000+05:30

Many years back, as a kid I was interested in history I pestered my folks to take me on a tour of forts and monuments close to Delhi. This is one subject that is considered to be the dreariest of the lot, but as I am myself, I always loved reading about people and their ways of their era. This fascination for the buildings erected by kings during their times finally made my trip possible. The most fascinating one has been The Taj.

Before leaving Doon it was imperative according to me to visit this dream in marble. Indeed, there have been a numerous ways to express the beauty of this enchanting monument, but I still hold the view that the feeling that one experiences when one sees it for the first time from the entrance is better left unsaid. One has to see it to feel it.
If at the age of 11 Taj can have such an indelible influence then what happens to those who see it at a more matured age? The experience can be termed as profound and serene. It is probably this reason why the colour white is the symbol of peace.

Having chanced upon a rare picture of The Taj, I thought it deserved a place in my blog.
I hope each individual makes it possible to experience this at least once in her/his lifetime.

Roses

2005-07-12T11:23:00.000+05:30

There are very few things in nature that probably do not intrigue me or mesmerise me.
The mere sight of these beautiful flowers makes me happy.

It is a choice to have them or keep them away for the fear of the thorns. I wonder how many actually have the time to enjoy something as simple and sublime as this...

June 16th , 200……..

2005-06-16T17:08:00.000+05:30

How many people plan their day in a meticulous manner? Is it really that important to do it in every aspect of life?
The workings of an individual depend on the environment. At times it can be called exposure and sometimes experience. But what actually matters is the individual’s preparation for the task and its effective execution.
Ergonomics is a vital science. Over the years I have seen numerous examples when things have not been proper and reasons can be attributed partly to this.

There have been so many people that I have met in the past two years …. all so vivid and with their own set of idiosyncrasies. Cannot possibly fathom what goes on behind the façade, but over time I can at the least know what they expect out of me.
Some of them who are seemingly close, expect a bit more. I always have my doubts if they realize my quandaries. But one thing makes me happy that every individual has her/his own set of hesitations. May be it’s this uncertainty that makes life interesting.
Its from these people, who make my life so interesting that I have learnt a lot.

Two years ago, on the same day, I had embarked on a completely different journey. I started working. It was not a big achievement, but then it was not something that can be eschewed. Back then, I thought I had planned out things and knew how would the coming months fare. I can now say that nothing I had planned worked the way I wanted. :-)
Some brought in abundant happiness in my life then and some seemed to cause intolerable pain. A year flew past, and I realized that there were many changes that had happened. It took me quite a while to come to terms with reality. Apparently the transient nature of life has evened out the ebbs and tides.

Now, there is a stark difference in me that I like. Planning has a completely new perspective and over time priorities have altered. To re-discover oneself might sound like cliché to some, but I have enjoyed it so far.

Rishton ki dagar hai mushkil...

2005-05-14T18:44:00.000+05:30

Its very hot nowadays in Hyd, but then its Hyd. I still love this place. Iss shahar main rishton ko kayyam rakhna, kabhi kabhi mushkil lagta hai....
Sister's enagagement was followed by all the fanfare and fun that's so usual at these occasions. But, it did get me thinking into those myriad nuances involved in a marriage.

Listening to Shubha Mudgal, had to quote this....

"rishta jo jisme dooriyaan ho, saans aaye jaye,
tera bhi apna bhi geet ho, woh bhi koi geet gaye,
khud ko mitana na chahe, tujhko badalna na chahe,
jaisa bhi hai tu tujhko vaise hi jo apnaye...."

I find this stanza so very apt. So very important, that I wonder if I'll find someone who respects such a belief..... and moreover .... is mine.

2005-05-02T22:11:00.000+05:30

"piyu bole, piya bole... kya yeh bole jaanu naa...
jiya dole, hole hole... kyun yeh dole jaanu naa... "

Just as the summer breeze plays a truant with my hair, it fills me with a mischief I cannot express. The odd summer showers remind me of the freedom I had as a child in Doon. They were the days when I did not even understand the importance of these things. I grew up unaware of the simplicity of the nature that made such a profound impression. Some expressions are best left unsaid, its just an experience, the moment.

Life is not the breaths we take, its the number of moments that take our breath away......

Closet

2005-04-13T17:26:00.000+05:30

Coming back home after a while, I had to arrange my clothes back into my closet. Living out of a suitcase is something I detest. I enjoy simple luxuries and this is one such. For the first time I realised how very intimate is one's closet. There are clothes one would never want to leave because they are sooo comfy or have proven to be lucky. And also some for which I have always said... Yes! I will reduce and fit into them. Never happened though :-( . Still I am not the sorts to loose hope ;-) . On the other hand there are clothes that I absolutely hate and keep them for some reason I cannot fathom.
Among the ones that remain my favorite there are some which have great sentimental value. Its because someone gave it or suggested or thought that it looks fabulous on me.
Offlate picking up clothes for all and deciding what would suit them... I realised that the clothes reflect so much of the individual's personality. And yesterday while deciding combis for Dad, I proved it yet again that I can make a double knot tie. Was mightily pleased with myself for having done it after a gap of eight years.
I have always worn them as per my mood and convenience. Its only when one loves to wear someting that one carry with that required panache.

Potpourri

2005-04-06T17:12:00.000+05:30

Elder men have occupied my fancy and interest for some time now. There is definitely something about the manner in which they carry or the positions they are in that makes them so to say ”much desired for”. Watched Rock for the nth time and couldn’t help admiring the Sean Connery’s persona. I have always maintained that Bond is just one and that’s him. In retrospect I realize that I have had this fascination for elder men for a long time now. It goes back to the days when as a child I had my hearts set on Amitabh Bachan and I can see that this adoration has only increased with time.

Over the weekend I was in Mumbai. Had a truly wonderful time there. The sunset at Chowpati , the sizzler sundae in New Yorkers, the IIT campus and the late night rather all night chatters, had a helluva time. The place seems to have a life of its own. The local trains and the ever busy people accompanied by the sultry weather, all in all it makes for a refreshing change from my schedule. Moreover it was nice to meet those people with whom I cannot define my relationship or the reason that binds us together.
As always was thrilled to meet the one person who never fails to impress me and definitely makes into the list I mentioned above. He is among the very few ‘elder’ men whom I get to meet. The other person who equally was the reason for my visit is a long time friend. This time we both did have time to ponder as to what actually keeps us together. We were both pretty much at loss to determine that. Nevertheless we were together. Its an irony, that not all good relationships require one to be caring, loving and nice, because am none to her and she is perfectly aware of all this. Yet we are bonded. All in all we never miss on the fun and never once an opportunity to put one down. Its as though we are ready with our swords drawn and ready for attack. I would say this is a classic case of opposites attract.

There have been so many instances in the past few weeks since the last post, when I wanted to post something. But all the while it was when I was traveling or just about to crash or times when I had no means to capture those expressions. I hope I have been able to capture most of those ruminations.

Quake

2005-03-14T17:23:00.000+05:30

At work today, I was bored of redesigning some more reports. Strolled over to my colleague’s desk and were extolling the merits of being an integral part of this project. I thought that the table vibrated because of my colleague’s joke, but then saw people moving out. Thought it was one of those routine fire drills that no one takes too seriously and deduced that our fire alarm was not working. Well, it turned out to be an earth quake measuring 5.1 on the Richter scale. As the epi-center was Koyna, many of us hardly realized it.

Have read innumerable forwards that keep telling one to be happy, live your life to the fullest or live every moment and all, one hardly realizes the intended meaning… till the time comes when circumstances in life suddenly jolt us back to reality. This life is short and has an end. We tend to forget that while bothering about the day to day needs, running after the next high rung position or acquiring some more wealth for our comfort. The bigger picture is lost. What is the point depriving oneself of all those simple things that make one happy and saying that I’ll enjoy them later?
With a history of having experienced two major quakes and a flood in a place like Hyd (which was mostly unlikely), I think its time I stop procrastinating and taking up things that really matter to me without further ado ... b'coz anything can happen just anywhere
:-)
Retro speak: I think I have the inherent ability to make my presence felt. ;-) I know what all of you have gotta say, about this statement.

People

2005-03-05T10:35:00.000+05:30

The people around me are many... one need not comment upon this, but the the myriad personality types is what intrigues me the most. I have come across some of the best and worst in this short span that I have been on this planet.
To start with some of the worst... these are people who validate the saying "Empty pitcher makes more noise" time and again. These people are typical nosey, do not do any work, but keep "supervising" the others. I might sound very harsh, but I hate the lot who expect everything doing nothing. Such elements have kept me at my harshest best all through the last few weeks. Couldn't help mesmerised at the cheap tricks they resort to :-) .

But, on the other hand I have soo many others who make my life worth by their mere presence. Many a times now, I cannot help but being smug at the number of such people. They have been with me through all my ups and downs and are ready to help me whenever I need them. Each of them are highly talented individuals and I continue to remain in awe of all of them . It so happened that two of them decided to shine with their brilliance at the same time.
One of them has put up a superb article in his blog. I must admit that at no point while I was reading, felt that this was just a post. It had the lucidity of expression coupled with facts and observations that made the article what it is. Hoping he will not mind me adding the link to the same....
http://sarvamekam.blogspot.com/2005/03/advertising-adversity_03.html
I am sure whoever visits this will not be wasting their time. :-)

My acquaintance with this spirited lady has made me take a number of things in a much different perspective. I love her exuberance and her spontaneity. This characteristic is reflected in all her actions and more so in her literary works. One such lovely example is here....

" baat kucch khaas hai, warna dil kyun udaas hai...

kyun aankon mein jalan, dil mein ek kashish hai pyaas hai
kyun nahi kahin chain kyun chubhta hua sa yeh ehsaas hai
kyun yaad aatey hai woh saare pal kyun dil ko aaj bhi teri talab teri talash hai
kyun nahi milta pyar ka sabab kyun iss dil ko khushi se aitraaz hai
nahi hai inn sab sawaloon ke koi jawab bus itna saa abhaas hai.. ki baat wakai kucch khaas hai. "

Agar kisi ek mukhde ka koi itna sundar antara likh sakta hai, to woh zarror meri yeh dost Archana hi ho sakti hai.

Thanks for allowing me to make this piece a part of my blog.

The last week....

2005-02-25T17:58:00.000+05:30

It has been very hectic. I was musing about my steady mood all through the ups and downs. Finally it has hit. Itni khush kaisi hoon?
As a matter of fact, nothing that I have wanted have I got without any strings. Whenever I wanted something, someone had an objection with it. At times attributed to their possessive behaviour or call it anything. Funny indeed. Am I to be happy for their concern or otherwise. Just drives home the point how important is “space” for an individual.
There has been yet another thing that has been soo prevalent. The duplicity of behaviour and the way people bitch. Even if one does not participate, one invariably is dragged into it. Just feel as though a part of myself is lost…

Considered this pathetic mood and thought that I need to get out of it. Max duration being half a day.... I am back to being myself. Ask me what was the remedy...well..well

Rafi...his Mellifluous music is enough to make me going..infact running again. Just listening to his "Abhi na jao chod ke ke" makes me smile at the beauty of lyrics the wonderful way in which the scene was shot. Simply superb! One of my all time favorites.

Reads...

2005-02-15T22:08:00.000+05:30

Every time I happen to read a beautifully described write up it makes me happy beyond words. I just want to go and tell every other person ….or rather people whom I think can appreciate it also. Couple of such passages are here for all.
“.. Her emblazoned fault was to be too pronounced in her objections, and not sufficiently overt in her likings. We learn that it is not the rays which bodies absorb, but those which reject, that give them the colours they are known by; and in the same way people are specialized by their likes and antagonisms, whilst their goodwill is looked upon as no attribute at all.” Hardy has described Bathesheba’s personality with remarkable charm and elegance.

In yet another instance, “…He had reached the time of life at which ‘young’ is ceasing to be the prefix of ‘man’ in speaking of one. He was at the brightest period of masculine growth, for his intellect and his emotions were clearly separated: he had passed the time during which the influence of youth indiscriminately mingles them in the character of impulse, and he had not arrived at the stage wherein they become united again, in the character of prejudice, by the influence of a wife and family. In short he was twenty-eight and a bachelor.”
Hardy has told the age of this man. One may ask what was the necessity to put it like this, but the writer has taken into account the influence of the circumstances and experiences that shape an individual. Its not just the age but a whole plethora of connected instances that make the person what he is at that age. Every age is different and a novel experience. We mostly tend to see the fact that how did such and such individual behave in a particular manner that was not agreeable to us, may be if can understand from the person’s perspective, as to what made him/react like that…what was it in the past which triggered this… we will not behave in the same manner.It would then be a more amicable world…. but then I guess am tending to be more Utopic. So long I’ll be how I want to be :-)

Enigma

2005-02-13T22:22:00.000+05:30

Its been a real long time since I came here. I just didn't want to, somehow do not want to explain it either. How I wish everyhting was understood without talking.
"kabhi kabhi pata chalta hai ki shabd kitne mehetvapoorn hai...ya shayad kitne bebas..."
There is always this one feeling or desire to know more about what that person is thinking. Having known that I cannot really say I am happy, but then its nice to take it subjectively. I never knew some facets of those people soo close to me. Its nice to be privy to this persona...what all happens in that mind part from the playful banter and that repartee. Its as though I am knowing a new person. Yet, there are few who are soo very predictable. I wonder how two men in my life are in fact so different and yet are so similar. Having known both of them so intimately, I was quite surprised that I couldn't see this facet of the two. Behind all that they are their crux is same.
I love it the most when the core remains untouched by the happenings, yet the covering changes. There is that required space given and yet that intimacy.

Simple things that matter

2005-02-01T20:57:00.000+05:30

Coming back from a hectic day at work, I can either curse that my building so far from the gate else I have the choice of admiring the brilliance of the setting sun. Playing a hide and seek with the clouds it casts it golden aura on the evening sky. At this time of the year, the shades of orange are really superb. One can stay transfixed with the changes that occur by the minute. Every minute presents a different hue, that no possible palette can capture.
This makes me realise that the best things in life that can make me happy are least expensive. A rose garden, an innocent smile of a child..these are the things that make me happy and keep me happy too. An expensive pair of sunglasses gives me the momentary happiness, but entails with it the burden of extreme care. It leaves me with no peace of mind untill it is safely put back in its case. How can I possibly derive my happiness out of such trappings?

2005-01-30T21:54:00.000+05:30

Why do I possibly trouble myself by watching movies that seem so impractical. It could be because I have always believed in it....all through and somewhere down I still believe in it. It might seem most impossible..I wouldn't rather say that... but just impractical.. but I want it. I know it may never come true, but still want it.
Can such a desire be termed stupid?
Well I suppose I will come to know.

Ma Bamma.

2005-01-29T23:00:00.000+05:30

The end of the year 2004 saw the end of the last of my Grand parents. To me this may not make a very big difference but then there is some kind of unexplained gap. I have always yearned for a grand father. Whenever I hear people, from outside the family, talking about both maternal and paternal granpa’s I feel very good and just then there is this want to have been acquainted with such personalities.

Day before yesterday while I was loitering in the house I chanced upon her memoirs. She had summed up some of her life’s most cherished moments and some experiences that left an indelible mark upon her life. As long as I have known her she was a lady with perfect health and a person with no idea whatsoever of procrastination. I always believed she would live to be a Centurion and wanted my kids to know her. This crazy belief is what makes it hard for me to believe that she is no more.

She was a lady who had impeccable memory and this database am sure would put any fetching algorithm to shame. She had an admirable collection of sarees. The best part was that these included such unconventional and rare colours that every saree seems superb. It was not just the collection it was also the maintenance that was of a superior quality. She stuck to this regime till the end. An excellent cook and home maker. Her only regret being not been able to become a doc. But this interest was so great that she knew the human anatomy so well and its related diseases and drugs that she amazed those docs she went to :-).

The part where I connected with her was with books. She was an avid reader of both English and Telugu literature. We have had some very interesting conversations about Pearl .S. Buck , Tolstoy and many others. I do miss these. We did exchange some books and one of her favorite Anna Karenina was lent to me before she could read it for the second time. We all shared another thing in common… she was a major competitor for all the chocs that father and uncles got for us :-). Ice-cream parties were a common feature with her. She was a very flexible lady and something really admiring was her effortless ability to adjust in different places. I am sure its pretty tough to do that at the age of 70 and over, after having lived a whole life upon one’s terms. There was always a certain amount of stubbornness and control that she always had in her.

I wouldn’t like to call this an obituary. These are just some of the many things I have known about and probably shared with her. A memory I wouldn’t like it to fade.

SOS

2005-01-29T17:10:00.000+05:30

I am despoly trying to get back my blog...I guess I was too enamoured with unravelling the features that has put me into this enigma...
I hope this post revives it ...

Managed to revive it. It pays to keep trying.... I have managed to beat my Infy Server :-)

Thanks God.

Dream

2005-01-29T10:25:00.000+05:30

Dreams are always weird. Some are illogical and some frightening that I get up in the middle of the night with a major jolt. There have been dreams when I have laughed the whole day after that. Unfortunately, I hardly remember all my dreams :-( unlike my mom who has dreamt some of the most hilarious ones or my friend who said she has seen a movie and its sequel in her dreams. I guess how the continued version starts…. Just trying to imagine the start :-) . I can’t remember a whole dream completely and here are people with episodes…

Yesterday’s dream was totally illogical. Apparently, Bandy and I were supposedly on our way back home, in a city that I had never seen and this time in a tube train…that suddenly changed to a long hallway where we decided to eat. ( I must admit I never miss my meals ;-) I know many of you might wanna say lots about it..but chill !! ) Though Bandy had something I didn’t. We then decided to get going. Just then Bandy offered to take us through some kinda shortcut. This primarily included moving from one building to another. You might want to know whats so illogical, well we were moving across the roof tops :D. Bandy crossed one, claiming to be an expert and having done it many times… I was as usual being cautious, waiting for her to accomplish the crossing, successfully. Bandy then met a man on the other roof top. He was sitting there, I presume waiting. He cautioned us saying that the owner of this roof is a grumpy man who doesn’t like people crossing using his roof. Well just then this so called skyscraper.. or that I had imagined turned into the roof of independent houses. But the roof was all connected (I guess the way it was in Doon). Bandy managed to cross it but then she got worried. I was trying to comfort her and tried to show how easy it was. ( I hope u still remember it was a dream)
Just then I realized we were on the ground floor and had reached our destination. Isn’t that really quick…how I wish I could circumvent the daily traffic.. I don’t mind facing my acrophobia and getting home so fast.
We then were at somebody’s house. ( I am not sure if this was the place we wanted to go) I presume we were there on some kinda errand and got ourselves invited. I have never visited this house…believe me…only in my dreams. The family didn’t seem very pleased to have us there L. But then we had to do our duty. ( Pl no questions about what that was). We were asked to accompany for breakfast/lunch/snack (no idea). I guess we did eat something because we thought it was civil to wash our plates after we were done.
At the table, there were two little girls. One of them was asked to sing some nursery rhyme/song,( as usual is the course with the little souls..their parents always want to show what all their children learnt and also some kinda entertainment for guests) .The recital was duly corrected by her elder sis. Apparently, the hostess liked our behaviour. (I dunno for what…) She then told us about our common acquaintance. It was nice to get compliments for nothing.

That was the end of it. Well I frankly didn’t understand why did Bandy and I go to visit this weird family and possibly crossing roof tops J.
This entry definitely requires a mention of Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s Kubla Khan. I have always enjoyed the poem. Its fascinating to see how one’s brain works while dreaming.

Finally…

2005-01-28T17:17:00.000+05:30

I had decided upon trying my luck… rather my folks … because 26th ka khana maine banaya tha. Well Div n I prepared the dinner. We had planned for pyaaz ki roti and Mughlai Cauliflower. I think our stars were bright.. we managed to do it well. Not bragging though, but my finicky coz is very particular about food and he approved with an A+. Both of us were too thrilled.
The applause did take a while to die down. That's why one should make oneself more rare I suppose..people tend to appreciate ur effort more ;-))

Will be trying it more often :-)

Another dimension...

2005-01-22T15:24:00.000+05:30

Finished writing all the crazy entrances.... am sure I won't make it thru any of them...but then its ok. I have a relatively good life and right now am enjoying the ample..rather excess time I get at home. May be polishing my culinary skills would be more fun.
At work am being very busy. The very fact that I have come to work on a Saturday is the proof of it :-)
Procrastinating is one thing i have to get rid of. Am sure many of my well wishers would want me to do that. have been trying though and can only hope to improve :D
I guess its the result of the same that I have not yet posted any reviews of the books I have read. hmmmmm but gotta do something about it very soon.

New Year

2005-01-06T17:28:00.000+05:30

New Year 2005 has arrived.
It seemed soo long a time when it'll be 2004 and now its over and am full blast into the new year.
Interesting scenario...so many things happening. My bday was not the same...it was after my last of my grand parents' demise. It kinda seems very sad when I realise that there are no more gran parents for me. But then its part n parcel of life.

Was reading my astrological predictions for the new year. It is marked ..rather smothered with romance...lets see how things turn out to be.

The capricornian trait of applying practicality to everything is something I am just unable to shed...whether its concerning my attitude towards someone who was in my life and now not there even when they can or otherwise....

The first week in office has been exremely hectic with loads of work to do. bahut kaam hai !!!!
But in a way am enjoying it all......

Will update about my bday n all in due course....luv u blog.

Value add to my Blog

2004-12-24T17:06:00.000+05:30

From this time onwards I intend to add some more value to my blog. My passion for books has been evident to all who know me. It is this passion that will be once again made to use, this time around to enhance my blog. Every book I erad, I do tend to reflect upon it. Draw some parallel with my life’s experiences and see if I tend to like the author’s views upon the said topic. If its info that I have learnt I would like to make a note of the same. I haven’t been doing this. This would hence allow me to preserve my observations.
Typically in one word I would like to clock my opinion on the books I read. As usual I have been verbose enough to give explanation and then put the same idea in the most garrulous terms :-) I don’t seem to get over it..and neither see its possibility, until I have am imposed upon to do so.

I will start with some of the books I most enjoyed in the recent past.

-Five Point Someone- Chetan Bhagat
-Twenty thousand Leagues Under the Sea- Jules Verne

Also the ones that are my favorites...

Far from the Madding Crowd- Thomas Hardy (This is gonna be pretty tough :-) )
Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
Frenchmen's Creek- Daphne deMaurieur (I hope I got her spelling right)
As the Crow Flies- Jeffrey Archer

I presume this is just the start and wanna develop it much better. I hope each effort of mine would help me in making a better effort.

Biblio Cormorant

2004-12-15T18:18:00.000+05:30

This is my new id in GMAIL. I wanted something different...something that reflected my deepest and keenest interest to be my username.
I like the features of the GMAIL...

Now coming to the title...it definitely deserves some kinda explanation...
Going by my usual nature I definitely tend to complicate things a wee bit...well that is what people around me claim..while I find it otherwise. It has been the trend always..to score well in an exam that was tough for all and flop miserably in the easier ones...I guess my hardwiring is 'zarra hatke' :-)

Biblio...thats self explanatory..based on the root word for books...
Cormorant..typically its a large voracious dark-colored long-necked seabird with a distensible pouch for holding fish; used in Asia to catch fish.....
Now the reason why I have used this simile is to represent the kind of zest/enthu/appetite that I have for books.
Books are my life and I think I cannot survive without them.
Dedicating my latest mail id to this is most befitting and I believe, it represnts my truest feelings.

At work

2004-12-02T17:14:00.000+05:30

I have been working for the last one year now in one of countries most prestigious organisations. Hmmm.....

If I put it into words like this then I feel nice about the whole thing, but in my daily routine I do not find things at all so very great. The gloss is what covers all the places whether its a premier institute or organisation or a profession.

My life in the last one year has changed tremendously but in spite of all these changes there are certain things common with regard to my professional life....
I haven't had any special bonding towards my workplace or organisation.
My detachment with regard to the ongoings and the people has been just the same. Its a care a damn attitude that sets into me or rather prevails when it concerns my life at work. Yes, I want to do the job well and prove my worth but it doesn't drive me to sit in the office for long hours or be totally committed to it.
This could be because of one main reason....My dislike towards the work.
The work I do is really not what I want to do.....well I do it purely because its a good career move and also because of the independence I achieve with the kind of remuneration paid.
I do not deny that I have had the experience of my life because of the opportunity provided by my work....but yet its the ocaasional distress that gets into me that tells me am not in the place I am supposed to be.

Reading all this ....I might sound kinda pessimistic..down in dumps and all..but on the contrary am feeling very nice about the fact that I am able to visualise all this clearly. My ideas and aims will not get clouded because of the ongoing chores....the detachment helps me to get back to them.

There is yet another thing I have realised about myself.....
I am capable of actually putting in a lot of effort that I think was incapable of.... I am a better person.
Now I need to work towards being the very best :-)

My recent interviews with my close friends revealed a lot to me.... I realised that I am not as clear in expressing myself and keep them busy as to what could be the reason for a particular kind of behaviour......
I guess I have the knack of keeping people busy ;-)
I hope I am atleast more explicit about myself in future.

Things that matter

2004-11-23T17:48:00.000+05:30

There are a number of things that matter a lot, but the pertinent question is do everything that we presume to matter really require so much of consideration.

My CAT exam was an utter disaster. I did not expect it to be that way. My view towards it and all were fine and was pretty confident. There is something amiss. Its very irritating to have this happen over and over again. I could have, probably done it better without preparing.

Well I did feel that I was prepared to face the consequences, but inspite of all that, the outcome has been most disheartening. I believed that I will make it this year.

I want to sound hopeful and optimistic, but its not making me feel better and however hard I choose to ignore it and react in a positive manner, am quite unable to do it.

There are times when everything seems so desolate. I know this is not the end of my world. I know this was not my final aim either. It was one of the many means to get where I want to. In spite of all these things being registered in my head...I presume my heart requires a while longer to be normal.

It has had to take a number of setbacks this year. There have been many memorable moments also...but all in all I have been through numerous situations, which were very novel to me.
This year has been the epitome of Change.

Quandaries

2004-10-13T23:04:00.000+05:30

I have realized one thing that I have some capacity to adjust in any place. The year till date has been quite remarkably marked by a number of Quandaries. Yesterday, I was at yet another crossroad and at that point looking back I felt weighed heavily by what all that had been happening with me. Though the situation in question was not a real big issue but then the cumulative of everything was too much to take.

My ability to adjust has come to fore in this year and moreover to a great extent in the past four months. The levels of adaptability that I possess really marvel me at times :-)

Off late I have felt a certain surge of confidence within me. I am sure to make it to the B-school of my choice and ‘God forbid it’ that doesn’t happen I would be more than glad to pick up a profession of my choice. I may not even regret leaving my present occupation. Yes, this does sound very whacky and probably unconventional, but then I would want to do what I love the most.

Given anything I can’t stop being happy :-) and I guess can’t remain sad for long either.

The want to be in the B-school of my choice has been now become a thing I desire the most and I am going to be in one too.

Moving On..

2004-09-19T17:36:00.000+05:30

It has been a while since I got the time and also bothered to make an entry.
The kind of composition I was about to make before I was about to sleep never matches the standard of my present or conscious effort of making an entry. Is this the reason why am I yearning for a laptop. But then, it can wait for a while longer. I need to consolidate a number of things prior to that.
‘Cakes n Ale’ does give a refreshing change of putting things and moreover the beautiful representation makes me happy. At present I have a feeling that my life is moving in phases. I come across things and not to forget some of the best experiences. These range from things to people. My latest ‘acquisitions’ if I might put it in a naughty fashion would include people I thought who do not exist in reality. I am glad this time I was wrong J . These people add so much value that I can never imagine. A small talk can actually revitalize and make me soooo happy that I can perform better.
It is at also these times I have people from my past…the one I would prefer to forget, at this stage, come and I am totally lost as to how to deal with these circumstances. I have never ever regretted having done anything, neither do I regret anything now. Its just that I do not wish to be disturbed by them at any time. I guess I have to come to terms with that, hopefully in due course I’ll be bale to.
My prep for CAT …well I wouldn’t call it good and I need to do certain things that’ll keep me focused. I sometimes wonder why do I attach any kind of importance to certain things in life. Does having the need to achieve them the only thing in life. Definitely not!
But then I want something and it is more then all-pervading feeling that makes me do certain things doggedly and have in toto no issues sacrificing anything for its sake.
If, I am to relate to myself to what I was a year back I seriously believe that I have grown tremendously. In terms of not weight ;-) but then in terms of matters concerning people. How to deal with all the myriad varieties I come across. My impatience has reduced .. I suppose but then the fiery spirit still remains that can just go guns blazing at anyone offensive enough. It is a feeling that maybe I must try keeping in control but then I feel its mere human to be so and I don’t wanna be perfect..not like this. I want to yell when I want to. Unfortunately, the number of times I am doing has reduced ;-) .

I am happy with my current status….overwhelmed by His generosity, but greedy…I wanna make it perfect. Off late I have been doing this a lot to some of my fav people….I know that..its fun…mere andar ka shaitaan aaj kal bahut excited rehta hai….
That’s the reason I am the best and want to prove it in terms of certain things that matter superficially. J

Blowng with the 'Current'

2004-08-21T15:07:00.000+05:30

With a tryst with My Lord after a really long time...I am very happy
:-)
Its been one helluva week all the while last week and I had good fun. The fitness freak I meant to be, am on the path to become one. Am sure it has called for an unbelievable amount of encouragement and this time coming from myself, made me feel elated.

It made me realise that workout is a 'terribly horrbly appalingly awfully and unbearably good thing for my health' ;-)

I have started with things that I would never have done and now am doing them out of my own initiative. My only regret being that I have not yet finshed Atlas Shrugged....am on the verge of its completion. It has taken an unusually long time, and I wonder yet again that was it me all through from last June till May this year. May be not and I do not like the idea.

But having buried the past under the hatchet, now can move on....

"Penning"

2004-08-05T18:16:00.001+05:30

I was wondering as to how important it is to Pen my thoughts.
Its a great need or requirement and enjoyment coupled with satisfaction. The shear enjoyment of reading something of great interest or to jot down my reflections actually lightens my heart.
It becomes an even greater challenge when I want to do it in a discriptive manner.
Any writer/poet while penning one's reflections has a great amount of history related. A whole bundle of ideas and thoughts that heve resulted in that work and to read it without realising this is brutal. The beauty of the work is lost if one does not put in their heart and soul into the read.

The reason behind my present writeup could possibly because of a general observation of people's attiude towards books.

Anything slightly involving a thought into the enigma called 'life' is immediately branded as philosophical. What could be philosophy then? I believe it is just a perspective of an individual's thought which when expounded comes to be called Philosophy.

At the end of the day, I love writing and it really helps me go through my previous ruminations.

It's time...

2004-08-01T17:36:00.000+05:30

I was always wanting a change.
A change in the outer appearance and adding new likable facets to my personality.
But I have always want to keep my inner core values intact.
The wrapper must change to maintain novelty and drive away boredom...but the core should always maintain the ethics I have stood for.

It was yet another day of self-doubt when I suddenly realised that I need to get rid of this feeling. It has been with me too long now and I need to get rid of it.

"What would I do if I was not afraid ?"
I think I would do a number of things to my heart's content. I have been doing it but not in terms of things which desire a major revamp in terms of where it is required.
I will now do it ....surely.

I have started...and it's now time to do it.

Frustu me !!!

2004-07-21T19:16:00.000+05:30

Well... I suddenly feel like running away from my work. It is interesting, but the monotonous work and absolutely no time left for my other activities makes me wonder how long will my patience last.
Yesterday, was one of the worst days.
My head was aching and a severe stomach problem and eyes burning...full blown...
I have lived it !!!!
So i think, today will also be fine.
I hope I will be able to make out time for much more.
Writing always make me feel great. Now am feeling much better.
Bought Somerset Maugham's Collection of Short Stories Vol.2...I love it !!!!

Motivation

2004-07-17T05:46:00.000+05:30

Why would a person work ?
I think that the main reason for motivation is the praise one can gather from the people they value most and moreover also to satisfy one’s own ego.
I bother to fill my blog with the various entries as and when I feel and never really cared that someone I wanted would be checking it on and off to see how the scribe in me was working.
I did tend to neglect ‘you my blog’, but yesterday night was a sweet jolt that made me realize that I must get a bit more dedicated J

My biggest folly, that I have come to realize is that I am not motivated enough.
Never in my life, have I really felt the real need to achieve something. I have always lacked the extra push to be the very best. I was always satisfied as being good.

I am now to change all this. I am pushing myself, as much as I can. There is no person who is doing that for me. I am for first time wanting to be in the very best of B-school.
I find myself changed in a number of ways, when it comes my method of work and attitude .
I presume that the recent events are also to an extent responsible, but yet again I would like to credit myself for having adapted in this manner.
I know..am bragging J but I guess kuch hadh tak ego boosting and boasting is definitely good.

Signing off for the day, and looking fwd for a nice weekend.

" I "

2004-07-01T17:58:00.000+05:30

I wonder at the marvel caused by the letter I.
It is highly positive and also negative. It can bring in that magical flavour in a relationship and it can also destroy a beautiful one.
Perusing through a review on Maslow’s theory, I could not help but notice at how relevant the quality of self-actualization is and how I have been implementing parts of it and sometimes tried to express similar feelings but in a different manner.
I believe that by reading an article or a book, whether it is fiction or non-fiction, the ideas expressed in there are purely what the author felt or wanted to write.
It is indeed a pleasure reading something that thoroughly interests you and eventually vivifies, but then having your thoughts being reflected by somebody is quite different from the fact of actually getting influenced by it all. There should be a certain amount of individuality in one’s thought. Being pliant to new ideas is not a weakness but blindly following them either because of ignorance or sado-masochistic tendencies is surely incorrect.
The environment plays an incredible role on the psyche of an individual and more so in the tender formative years. Formative years of mind, when an individual is trying to find his/her identity or when one is trying to make a space for themselves where they believe they should be the most. But unfortunately, this does not happen most of the time. Either the opportunity to achieve is curbed or the zest is lacking and foremost reason being the deviations coming across at such times.

The entire being revolves as per the mind and it is the thought which influences the existence. The most logical output of this display is an individual's attitude.

Attitude towards problems
Have the patience to endure the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the ones from the others.

Love

2004-06-17T17:27:00.000+05:30

My thoughts were so well reflected by this small story I came across that I had to make this entry into my blog.

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love." This was how I saw it: "As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings. Give and don't expect. Advise, but don't order. Ask, but never demand. It might sound simple, but! it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring." Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away ........
-- Swami Vivekananda

There are also another kind of people who believe that someone else can never understand their requirement of space. They want a number of things, but at the end of everything you have certain fringes attached.
There are no free meals in this world.
It might sound slightly materialistic in the present context, but the fact remains that an element of possessiveness is always there....the right of "advising, but not ordering", the right of "Asking, and not demanding"....if even these things are never given importance then is there still a point in continuing the devotion towards that person...
Over the last One year I have realised myself, in various new facets,with many new feelings which I thought I might be incapable of expressing or possessing.
It was a good experience.
Space is soooo important and so is Love....
So am signing off with the song " Janeman Janeman..Tere do Nayan..."
Its an amazing song expressing the beauty and love....

Change

2004-06-13T18:39:00.001+05:30

This is the very first time I have created my 'BLOG'.
There has been an incredible change in my life in the last one year. I have done things which I never thought would happen and some of my dreams also came true.
I did have my share of disappointments, but all said and done I have emerged much wiser.

This has been the first opportunity that I have come out to live independently. Posted in Pune, far away from home, it's going to be a new life for me.

I thought I had forgotten my diary but now I have found one that's mobile.

There has been a change in every sphere....and I am living every minute of it.

Ruminating about all this, I can but remember the ' The Brook's Song ' by Rudyard Kipling.

'Men may come,
Men may go,
But I go on forever.... '